Wednesday, 3 February 2010

I Just Want To Be Happy

I want to grow wings….
Fly high in the sky
Until I reach and touch the burning stars
Hold the scorching stars tight in my palm
Until my skin burns and peels.
I mere price to pay
For my wishes and dreams to come true
I want to sit in a corner, pitch dark room
My hands and legs bound
Befriend the ghosts
Until their booing quietens
And I fear them no longer
I don’t want to be afraid anymore
I want to tear my heart open
From my ribs, the protective shield
That encased it
Forget past heartache, misery & insecurities
That held me back before
Give my heart to a complete stranger
In the middle of a unknown street
I want to know what love is

Can’t you see I just want to be happy?

Cyber Love

I would wait all day for you
Because you mean that much
The free time I have
I await your arrival
To rid me for a moment of this heart ache
To feel you somewhat close to me
My fingertip caressing the screen
Day dreaming of having you here with me
I believe your promises of love
Not for a second I doubt
Because I don’t want to be lonely anymore
True love this must be
When you’re here I feel complete
When you’re gone I feel unfulfilled
I feel I have yet more to say
When that’s not the case
I yearn to be in your presence
To hear you breath
To hold you tight in my arms
Most of all to look lovingly in your eyes
And Say I love you
I really do, this is no lie
Yes, these words written are empty still
Lacking any meaning
No worries my love
Soon you will know this love is true
The day will come when we finally meet
I will never give up hoping for that day

Too Deep

Too many tears
Too much pain
Cut Me
Cut Me Deep
I want to see
The Blood oozing
The tears falling
I want to feel a small ounce of your pain
I want to understand
How you feel
Every hour
Every second
That goes by

But can i…?

memories & my feeling for you

The day I first met you
Was the day that I couldn’t
Look at you straight in the eye

I was shy but I’ve grown since then
As we talked
I knew instantly we would be good friends
I squirted orange juice at you
Funny looking back
As we parted you asked
If I would like to do this again
My answer was yes,
Your company was enjoyable and still is even now

We grew closer
As time went by I could feel you liked me
I liked you too
You had a girl though
Who didn’t deserve you
But you with your good soul
Didn’t want to leave her
I was there by your side
Encouraging you to leave her
Not only because I cared so much
But because I secretly wanted you

We went to the cinema
One cold December day
The day I shared 1 of the many beautiful memories with you
We laughed hard & joked a lot
We were only friends
But it felt like a date
You asked me if you could hold my hand
I politely accepted
You gripped it when the scary scene came
Reassuring to know that
I wasn’t the only one scared of the ending
Of paranormal activity
Don’t deny it because I know the truth!

The next day
Was the day we became a couple
Your exact words were
“Be by my side”
Couldn’t believe it
That you were finally mine
Me & you
That’s the way it should be always

Every day I saw you
From then on
I grew happier
Didn’t know what I did to deserve a guy like you
I didn’t even know it was possible
To find a guy as wonderful & genuine as you
I’m speaking the absolute truth.

The only problem was me
Insecurities got the better of me
Not sure if I was really ready for a relationship
I was scared I wasn’t going to love you
Even though I liked you so much
Because I just wanted the best for you
Didn’t want to end up hurting you
Even though I ending up doing so
In a way
So I run away, the biggest mistake of my life

Theres no going back now
I’m going to always remember what we had
I know you are too
I know I will never get another chance
Too late, you found some one new
I must admit I’m jealous of her
I don’t think I completely moved on
I just pray she treats you better
And gives you all the love you deserve

Just know
I am always here for you
No matter what to listen to your problems & give advice

To make you laugh & to catch every single tear that may fall upon your eye
If only I was stronger
If only I was sure of myself
If only we met earlier

If only I could turn back time then maybe, just maybe...
I would still be with you creating more beautiful memories
There’s no point of saying if only
Because everything happens for a reason
& all good things come to an end

I'm just glad you were mine just for a moment in time